Read the New Testament in 2012 and learn...

-Why sleeping in church can cause serious injury or death

-How minimizing swelling can lead to god-like status

-Which gospel contains perhaps the earliest recorded case of streaking in history

...among other things. Check here for help along the way!

3/21/12: Easier Said than Done

Reading your Bible is hard. Just to prove that I’m aware of the huge effort you are making in attempting to read the New Testament in 2012 I want you to know that I had to read 12 chapters last night just to catch up and finally be able to write this blog! But it pays off in strange ways.

For example, most of you probably don’t realize that Jo and I (and Alyse) are working on adopting another child, this time from a foreign country. It’s a terribly long and complicated process that will take a few years. Most of all it is expensive…I mean really expensive. Thus it’s easy to get frustrated and a bit scared about the quickly falling numbers in our bank accounts. But last night I read Luke 12.

There is a parable about a “rich fool” (Luke 12:13-21). Like most successful people in Jesus’ day this imaginary guy was a farmer. He had an enormous crop so he built bigger barns and stuffed all his grain and hay and grapes and olives in there and thought, “Sweet…I’m good to go!” Most of us would probably consider him to be pretty wise, but that’s not how the parable ends. Instead Jesus says God will take the farmer’s life that night. “Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?”

It’s kind of weird that whoever edited the Bible then puts a break between that parable and verse 22. Verse 22 says “Therefore…” Anytime you read the word “therefore” in the New Testament you should look back and make sure you know what you just read. It’s like Jesus saying, “Because of what I just said…this is what you should do/think/believe.” In this case what you should do is “…not worry about your life…who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:22-26).

Don’t worry about my family’s adoption? Don’t worry about where you will go to college or how you will pay for it? Don’t worry about high school? Don’t worry about your grades? Don’t worry about your friends…or your enemies? Don’t worry about a summer job? Don’t worry about…

Exactly.

Worry is not the same as hard work. If you work hard at what God wants you to work hard at (as opposed to what you want to work hard at), don’t you think he will provide everything you need in order to make it happen?

How do you know you’re working hard at what he wants you to work at? How do you keep reminding yourself not to worry? Well, if you’re on track with reading your Bible (or doing your best to catch up) you’ve already taken the first step, so don’t worry about it!

1/31/12: Don't Get the Wrong Idea...

I’m actually a little concerned that I may get in trouble for posting this video, but I do so in order to make the same point as the people who made it (people from one of those “cool churches” in Raleigh, North Carolina called Vintage 21*). It may make you laugh. But unfortunately we often act as though this is what we believe Jesus was like; a stickler who went around pointing out everyone’s mistakes, making them feel terrible about themselves. A lot of Christians actually are sticklers who do just that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCTAgxsLE3Q&feature=plcp&context=C3ba3ebcUDOEgsToPDskIs6nk7dbSNsEPBWNDO5K9W 

If you’re not careful, you might get this impression from this week’s readings in Matthew. Here we see Jesus throwing furniture (Matt. 21:12) and killing a random fig tree (Matt. 21:19). Odd. He tells people that if they are too dumb to answer his questions he won’t answer there’s (Matt. 21:27). Then he begins telling stories indicating that God gets very angry when people don’t pay attention to him (parables of the tenants and the wedding banquet).

But if Jesus was like the portrayal in this video, how could Matthew 21:31b be true? “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors (who were notorious cheats and hated by everyone) and the prostitutes (that is people who messed up sexually) are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.” The “you” at the end of that statement refers to the chief priests and elders of Jesus’ day who believed and taught that the way to get to heaven was to be better than everyone else.

Jesus did point out how screwed up people are, but only so that they would realize they needed him. A lot of people knew they were messed up (that is, sinful) and were glad to trust Jesus to change their lives. But “important people” were offended, thinking, “We can get to heaven on our own just fine, thank you very much.” They didn’t want to change their lives.

Hear this: You certainly don’t get to heaven by being a worse sinner than everyone else. I don’t condone lying to your mom, swearing, whatever Frank did, or any of the other things mentioned in the video. Understand however that you don’t get to heaven by being less of a sinner than everyone else either. Stop comparing yourself to other people. STOP IT! Instead start comparing yourself to God. As you learn more about him (by, I don’t know, reading the New Testament?) you will begin to learn more about you too; mostly how small, wrong, and sad you are apart from him. Don’t let that get you down though. Instead focus on the fact that thanks to Jesus there is no need for you to live apart from God!

1/10/12: Congratulations! You've just read the Sermon on the Mount...

...And when you came to the end of it in Matthew chapter 7 you might have noticed an interesting little snippet: "...the crowds were amazed at (Jesus') teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law." What made Jesus' teaching so different from anyone else's?

It might help to know who Matthew was writing to in the first place. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John all tell pretty much the same story. But there  are some significant differences. Those differences come about because each of those 4 guys had a different audience they were trying to reach. Imagine if you were to go on a weekend retreat with the church and then have 4 different people ask you about it later. When your dad who perhaps paid for you to go asks, you might tell him it was fun, the speaker was really good, and you learned a lot. If your little sister asks, you might tell her about this "awesome game" or "hilarious skit." If I ask you might say it was okay, ask a few questions, or make a few suggestions for next time. Finally, if a friend at school asks about your weekend you might tell her about the cute guy you met. All your accounts of the weekend would be true, but you would emphasize different things depending on who you are talking to.

Matthew's audience was Jewish people and his main goal was to convince them that Jesus really was the Son of God and their Savior. Jewish people in Jesus' day had grown used to listening to teachers or rabbis who used their influence to control people. Imagine if you showed up at church with a cold and were told that you caught the cold because you hadn't donated enough money. Or if a close relative died and you were told that you should have prayed harder (as if everyone doesn't die anyway). Well, that's what these people were putting up with. And just to prove how smart they were, the teachers always backed up their teaching with the teaching of other rabbis or this phrase: "Thus says the Lord..."

Notice, Jesus never refers back to anyone else's teaching...unless he's about to contradict it. And he never bothers to say "Thus says the Lord" because when you are the Lord you don't need to. He just said, "I tell you..." What Jesus told them was essentially, "If you're trying to get to heaven by being perfect, you might as well give up. Not even your teachers are perfect. Instead just come to me." When Jesus said this, people (and their teachers too) began to sit up and take notice in a big way!

If you've read Matthew 1 you've already...

...read what is arguably one of the most difficult chapters in the New Testament. It's not that it is so hard to understand. The problem is that there are a lot of weird names and, well, family trees do not make good reading. But the real question is why. Why is this boring, difficult, often misunderstood list of names here?

It's there because it's not just any family tree; it's Jesus' family tree! Well, the "earthly" side of it anyway. (The heavenly side would be really simple: GOD.) Check out the characters involved here:

Abraham was told by God he and his wife would have a son. Abraham wasn't sure so he had a son with his wife's servant girl first. OOPS!

Jacob was a notorious cheater, fraud, and con artist.

Notice that Judah and Tamar had two sons. What you probably didn't know is that Tamar was Judah's daughter-in-law! Apparently it was a very complicated relationship...eww.

Rahab sold her body to men.

David slept with another man's wife, then had that man killed so he could marry her. That's called "cheating."

Solomon didn't need anyone else's wife. He had 700 of his own.

I could go on and on about the list of kings of Israel that follow Solomon, but that would take all week. Let's just say that they were such great kings that they managed to have Israel conquered and dominated by no less than 4 major empires. People were literally carried away by their enemies. Jerusalem was completely destroyed. But other than that those kings did alright.

So what's the point? Well, the point is that God uses all sorts of people in his plan to accomplish his will...even serious screw ups. No matter what you have done, it's doubtful that any of you reading this have ever had 700 wives. Or killed anyone in order to steal his girlfriend. Or done some of the other stuff I don't even want to mention. So if God can use people like that in his plans, why would you ever allow yourself to believe that he couldn't use you? Keep reading and you'll begin to learn more about what that plan is!